The Manifesto of the Purple Pressiah

Ha! You all myopically assume that the last to press the button - the one that will step up when the numbers run small and amount of active accounts gets low, the one to make one final press, will be a member of the red guard. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Too bad. Much too bad. I simply can't resist the delicious, delicious irony that would come of robbing you of a final red guard member. "Another filthy purple," you'll say, once the button is gone and the emerald and periwinkle have washed from the blushing face of the reddit hive mind. But little will you know that it was I, the purple serpant that banished you from your electronic Eden, that left you to watch helplessly as the timer slowly solidified the color of your flair. Yes. Imagine. The most painful minute of your life, all to bring one more splash of purple to your little subreddit. Yours truly, The Purple Pressiah