I Feel Broken

I just...I'm losing my grip on my morality and reality itself. Everywhere I turn I just see more and more pain being inflicted, more and more people willing to overlook things. The people I work with indifferent to the hypocrisy of racist groups, my mom acting racist without even realizing she is. More and more people willing to act selfishly and put everyone at risk. The person I love willing to commit acts that she feels no remorse about.

It becomes more and more of a struggle to wake up each day and sometimes I wish I didn't because when I do I'm hit with more and more pain. 7 years ago I came as close to the razor's edge as one can, but slowly I found the will to keep moving forward. Every bit of that will is being shaved away. It's like I don't belong on this Earth anymore. Like all the effort I put in to become a better person from the asshole I was has only ended up bringing me more pain than if I just stayed that course.

I don't know what to do anymore...I'm losing it...I'm just losing it.