TIFU by attempting to listen to porn on my old phone (totally safe for work)

Technically a post from yesterday, but it was only an hour or so ago so I'll still consider it today. And yes, there is a reason I delineate religious affiliations.

It has been a long day for me (23M, Agnostic). Chronic back pain, shitty paychecks, and trying to make up for said shitty paychecks by putting in extra time at work (thus causing more pain) were about what my day was made up of. So it was almost midnight; I was thinking of wrapping things up with a trip over to /r/gonewildaudio to calm my nerves and clear my mind before I go to bed.

I'd usually use my tablet, but I've been taking it to school with me and I'd rather that not show up on my tablet's history for my friends to 'find'. And then it hits me: I aught to use my old iPhone 4 that has been collecting dust on my computer table since I upgraded. Still connects to the house Wifi, and should work just fine! Only one problem it seems...

See, my sister is 13, and it seems that she has taken to being a thief. She has waited until I left for work or school and taken a different tablet or other internet capable device a total of four times now. I'm so paranoid that my shit is getting violated while I'm gone that I've taken to activating a small keylogger on my PC that I found the code for floating around (that saves the keystrokes discreetly, but locally) when I go out for extended periods of time. Most of her documented activity is stuff like ifunny and youtube, but apparently she's discovered the power of incognito tabs.

The last thing she pilfered was my old iPhone, and as I turned it on I began to wonder what it was that she had been doing that was so important that she had to steal to get to it... And this is where I fucked up. I started looking through the pictures. Nothing there that I didn't take. Thinking I was clear, I opened Chrome. It appeared that more than one tab was open, but there was only one normal tab open. I had never used incognito tabs on a mobile device before, so it took me a second, but when I swiped over to them, I saw two things open. First her email account, and second, a Yahoo group called "Teens4Satan". It appears to be some sort of weird satanist group for teens... I've known actual satanists and I'm pretty sure what this group is presenting is *completely* different from the accepted belief system.

Of course, I had to show it to my mom (devout Christian). Of course, my sister left her email open and logged in (because as sneaky as she tries to be, she is still absolute shit when it comes to information security) and apparently she's been trying to contact this group for months and talking about how Christianity is bullshit and Satanism is *way* better, all while assuring my poor old mother that she *loves* to go to church. Not sure what is going to happen, only that my mom is **pissed** and that things are likely about to become very different for my sister.

**TL;DR: TIL my sister is an occultist!**