TIFU by adding an icon to my iPad home screen while on the toilet
English is my native language so any grammar and spelling mistakes are my own. This actually happened two days ago, not today. Let’s get on with it:
I’m not proud to say that I take my iPad into the bathroom with me. I’m fastidious about a lot of things, but not this. Perusing Reddit on the head makes for a relaxing time. I drop my trousers, take a seat, and notice a new suggestion on the Lock Screen: “Siri suggestion: add this item to your home screen.”
Not knowing what it is, but rarely having been steered wrong by Siri, I tap on the Lock Screen badge, and it launches Google Meet. I am baffled why it would choose to suggest the app now. The work contract where I primarily used the app finished months ago. Legacy usage data? Historic frequency of use? Analytics driven method for causing former users to revisit the app? I’m distracted by these thoughts when it asks if it should allow microphone and camera usage, and I realize I don’t know how to adjust the permissions if I say “no“ right now. Mindlessly, I tap “allow.“
Suddenly, the bathroom is filled with voices.
Google meeting has connected me to a meeting in progress, with my recently-allowed voice and camera permissions, while I am taking a shit.
I immediately hit the power button to deactivate the camera, though the meeting is continuing to stream audio from my now painfully, absolutely silent self, sitting there on the toilet, trying to figure out what to do next. What meeting is this?! During the first moment of the call, did it broadcast video, or did I catch it in time? Would somebody comment on the unusual background from where I normally connect? What fucking meeting is this anyway? It’s Sunday.
Evacuation processes hadn’t even started yet, so I am able to quickly and quietly pull up my pants, retreat to another room, and connect as though nothing has happened. As far as I know, nobody noticed anything unusual. But it will be a while before I allow Siri to make any more suggestions.
TL;DR: I tapped an innocuous looking suggestion on my home screen, and my iPad automatically connected me to a meeting in-progress while I was sitting on the toilet.