I feel like I’m suffering from toddler-induced burnout…
The most frustrating thing about being a parent to a toddler (especially a SMBC) is the constant angst (especially when that constant angst weighs you down).
Anytime something frustrating happens with my kid I often find myself walking away looking for similar posts from parents on Reddit because I’m just so tired. Usually I just need to vent bc it’s just me and literally no one to vent to, so that frustration builds but today I’ve become annoyed enough to actually type out these words.
The goal is to get my toddler to her school by 8:30am. That requires I wake up anywhere between 6 and 6:30 despite being a night owl, I’ll do this! I’ve let her “sleep in” (7:30am) because I feel like maybe she’ll be more pleasant but nope, she’s annoyed at the world literally as soon as her eyes open and we inevitably get to school after 8:30am. Today~ I wake her up promptly at 7am to give her enough time to get her self situated, eat breakfast without hurry and get ready and ABSOLUTELY NOT! Let’s be an angsty mess!
Took her over 15 min to get up then I got the cereal together that she wanted and as soon as she poured the milk from the same little measuring cup and POUTY FACE!
Like, why? I didn’t do or say anything to disagree with her so rule that out. I got her the cereal she requested, in the amount she generally wants, so rule that out. Why? Why the pout-fest? Just all over angst… now I’m upset, sad, tired and on the verge of annoyance because what was the point of waking up early if it all leads to the same road of us being late?
I asked her why was she upset? Could she explain it? And nothing ~ she just sadly attempted to place an overfilled cereal spoon to her mouth just to spill it everywhere…. :sigh: another waste of food— as if I’m made of money and all manner of food magically grows for free. :sigh:
No amount of empathy or sympathy can prepare me for the constant angst. Especially when I didn’t do anything in particular to be on the receiving end. It’s messing with my internal regulators. I miss the jovial infant/ early toddler who was smiles and giggles more often than not! The tears were difficult but at least it wasn’t a constant cloud of angst.
I’m sitting here, now, in the kitchen - to try and stay calm - frustrated that an hour was wasted and we are still going to be late. My kid sits in the bathroom, upset at who knows bc she won’t tell me anything, just staring with welled eyes. Each time I try to help, ask what’s the matter, give a hug, move the morning along — pouts and tears.
I’m so done…. Too many weeks/months in a row like this.
It’s not 24/7 but it’s enough to definitely wear someone down. It makes me feel like I’m a terrible parent. :( even tho I know I’m trying my very best. It hurts and I’m so tired of it….
Sorry for the long rant and thanks to anyone who read this incredibly long post.