Ranking 2hus by whether or not they will kill you.

There are a lot of humans and youkai in the Touhou universe and I thought it would be a fun experiment to try to rank most of them, starting from EoSD, based on your chances of surviving if you were to meet them. Please also consider that I'm not well versed in Touhou lore and have only read Forbidden Scrollery and played a handful of the games so most of the information on this list will be pulled from the Touhou wiki. If I get some information wrong or you disagree with some of my assumptions, please feel free to correct me on anything as the point of this post is to create a discussion.

 

The rankings will go as follows:

* Will not kill you (NK)

* Will *probably* not kill you (PNK)

* Uncertain as to whether they will kill you (U)

* Will *probably* kill you (PK)

* Will kill you (K)

 

**For all intents and purposes, you are considered a human from the Outside World since Youkai aren't allowed to kill humans from the Human Village.**

 

Reimu: NK

She's a shrine maiden, incident resolver, youkai exterminator, and a protector of the human village. She'll not just, not kill you, she'll probably save your life.

 

Marisa: NK

Despite being a thief, she was shown to protect the village and even take care of villagers afflicted from youkai attacks in Forbidden Scrollery. She's a confident NK.

 

Rumia: K

Well, she eats people and is convinced that it's a Youkai's job to eat people. If you were to run into her while she's not busy bumping into trees, you'll probably have no chance. If you see a ball of darkness floating through the sky, it's in your best interest to run.

 

Cirno: PK

Our lovable little 9 ball is actually quite dangerous. She's overly prideful for a fairy and constantly challenges anyone to fight to prove she's stronger. She freezes frogs to death on her spare time (well about 1/3rd of them die) so if she were to challenge you to a fight, it would be better to bow down and proclaim that she is the strongest lest you become a human popsicle.

 

Hong Meiling: PNK

She's not aggressive towards humans, considering she's a gatekeeper. You won't have to worry about her challenging you to a duel since she seems like the type to be respectful enough to back down if you explain that you don't want to fight. As long as you're not intruding on the Scarlet Devil Mansion or talking shit about China, you'll probably be fine through.

 

Patchouli Knowledge: NK

Patchouli is a quiet, shut-in librarian who seems to act for herself. The only time you would meet her would be on the rare occasions where she decides to leave the Scarlet Devil Mansion for errands or other reasons (such as the SWR Incident). She's capable of obliterating you with a myriad of different types of elemental magic, but I fail to see any reason for why she would want to kill a random human.

 

Sakuya Izayoi: PK

Before the events of EoSD, she was cold and bitter towards humans and is a loyal servant to Remilia over anything else. Post-EoSD, while she does appear to be more friendly, she still appears to be cold towards humans (confirmed in a conversation with Eiki during PoFV). She also has 2 vampires to feed and it's speculated that she performs a ["Jack-the-Ripper-like"](https://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Sakuya_Izayoi#Performing_a_Jack-the-Ripper-like_act) act. With her time-stopping powers, she's capable of cleanly and silently killing you. If this speculation happens to be true, you just have to hope you're not chosen as Remilia or Flandre's next meal.

 

Remilia Scarlet: PK

She's a charismatic vampire, highly respected by youkai and feared by humans. A girl's gotta eat and it just so happens that humans are part of a balanced vampire diet. She respects Marisa and Reimu who are both human, but I don't know much about her treatment of other humans. I would recommend avoiding her, but if you run into her on a dark night, one might say it was fate.

 

Flandre Scarlet: U

Yeah, I don't know. She doesn't have much documentation in the games or Forbidden Scrollery so I can only quote the wiki and make assumptions. She was locked in a basement for over 400 years making her "rather nuts" but is described as generally being nice and quiet. The wiki describes her friendship with humans as very low and considering that she's a vampire, she also has to consume them sometimes. If you encounter her, she's probably on the run after escaping the mansion with Sakuya or Remilia following close behind, so you probably won't be seen as a priority.

 

Letty Whiterock: K

Feared by humans cause she's known to freeze them. OK, done, next.

 

Chen: PNK

Aw, it's a cute kitty. It's adorable, it's lovely, it's... a dangerous bakeneko. Granted, she's not as dangerous when under possession as Ran's shikigami, she becomes feral and attacks humans indiscriminately when her shikigami possession is dispelled through splashing water on her. Just don't throw water on her and hope you haven't angered Ran in some way and you should be fine.

 

Alice Margatroid: NK

She's a bit creepy with her doll obsession, but she shows hospitality towards humans and even helps them out if they happen to have lost their way in the Forest of Magic. I just can't see her murdering someone in cold blood.

 

Prismriver Sisters: NK

They're a band of poltergeists that can play instruments without the use of their hands and even play songs that would be impossible by hand. Worst they could do is make your ears bleed with black midi levels of noise but they seem content enough with their un-lives to perform in concerts instead.