My father wants me all to himself.

For as long as I can remember my father has been feeding me narratives that “no one will ever truly love me, only for my body.” or “you don’t have time for me anymore” or simply reliving the past ALL THE TIME, and it’s really really stressful.

Cuz everything he’s ever said to me has all pointed to getting me to rely on him but he’s so incredibly unstable that I cannot rely on him. For anything. He just gets up and does whatever he wants most days, I feel like if I lived with him I would feel isolated and alone most days.

He also strongly (and overly) suggested that I didn’t get into or involved in any relationships and when I did, he did his best to get rid of them (typically saying something to the object of my affection to intimidate or scare them), or waiting until it ended and telling me “I told you so. I told you they would leave you./ I to you that they were only trying to get in your pants.”

And just looking back all these years later, and all these years since the abuse and I don’t understand why he STILL wants me all to himself and keeps coming up with scenarios in which that would be the case (i.e. driving to work.) ty.