Came out last year and not sure what to do.

So, bit of backstory, first I’m 34 male, we all know how November went and in a hysteric text chain with my mom about “everything” I inadvertently came out as questioning and saying I felt dysphoria about being a guy. My mom being the awesome woman she is said “I kind of had that feeling” and was totally supportive. Long and short, both my parents know, although I don’t know if my dad even cares since he is one of those “I don’t follow politics” folks, and my brother and his wife know. And of course they’re totally supportive. My mom even helped me make a cute trans pride wreath this year.

But since last November I’ve been kind of just… hiding I keep telling myself I need to see a therapist to talk to but then I see how awful this country has become towards trans folks and it honestly scares the hell out of me to go from a “privileged cis white male” to having a huge crosshair on my head from bigots out there considering I live in a blood red district in NC.

I have been kinda socially transitioning, growing my hair out, painting my nails (which I love doing), constantly shaving (god so much shaving), and even doing female cosplay which felt so good to just wear a skirt for the first time and big stompy knee high boots (even though I had nude leggings underneath).

I just am not sure what I should be doing, part of me is like well I’ve had a cracked egg for almost three and a half decades what’s a little more, and if I keep waiting I feel like it will be too late. I am just so conflicted on everything.