I don’t remember my HRT anniversary

I know roughly when it was. It was some time in November 2013. So much was going on at the time. By that point three family members had passed away that year, two grandparents and an uncle. I had kept putting off coming out and starting transition because they were spaced out basically every 3-4 months apart. It was a hellish year and my anniversary was hardly the only thing I’ve forgotten from then.

It kind of sucks. My mid-20s were horror show of chaos and loss and I was so desperate to be myself. And I finally did. Because I don’t know exactly when, I just use the middle of the month, the 15th, to be my makeshift anniversary.

But, I have no pictures of day one. I don’t even have an “official” date because it’s been over a decade, numerous doctors, and thousands of kilometres between. It’s bittersweet really. I know so many others who have it down and that’s such a wonderful thing for them. I’m a bit sad I don’t have that day to point at as the beginning for me. And I feel a disconnection with other trans people because of that. I always wonder how many others are like me who can’t find their own anniversaries.