Spice, a cautionary tale

I have smoked many things and I have seen many things that do not exist to the sober eye. Of all of the things I have smoked, spice will stick in my mind as the most life changing of them all, FOREVER.

The introduction; I have a bunch of friends that are on probation, they love to "partake". I was introduced to Spice last summer when the first of my friends started getting out of jail/onto probation.

Things started out nice in the beginning. We'd hang out at parties, the kewl kids gettin high in front of cops with nothin they could do about it.

Things were great.

I remember this time a friend had some black mamba for the first time... we got baked, it was awesome. It was like having a golden anniversary and your wife gets enough plastic surgery to make her look 20yrs younger right before you go on a world cruise to all of the amazing places you two always talked about going, then losing 20lbs on the cruise and having hot chicks hit on you the ENTIRE time. It was that awesome.

Well we spent as much time together as we could, I was trying not to get too attached as I'm a pretty independent kinda guy... but I couldn't help it, her legality, her beautiful smell... the way she made me feel... it was hypnotizing.

"Fuck all those people that are saying horrible things about her" I told myself.

Then it happened, I'll start by saying I guess I should have seen this coming, I was naive...

I had just gotten done with a weekend with Sativa, I decided it was time to take a break and explore spice a little deeper... I went to a headshop and asked for the most intense spice they had. Looking back I should have been happy with the relationship we had, of course that's the way it always is... hindsights 20/20. They introduced me to a gram of spice that was 45 dollars, lets call it zombie dick... Well my interest was piqued but that was more expensive than the tree's I'd been acquiring. I left a little down troddin that spice could be such an expensive mistress.

Deciding I'd stick with the normal 15 a gram stuff I traveled to my normal spot.

I get to the store, and lo and behold there right next to my norm is zombie dick, 15 a gram. I got that little shiny baggie with all the adulation's I could afford for the desk clerk.

Rushing to my friends house holding onto my precious... it took all of my will power to wait until we could sit down and do it properly.

When we first started I recommended a spice cigarette, which as I have been notified is a Nifter. The thing about spice, for me at least is it tastes pretty good when you mix in tobacco. So we did, I admit I felt a little body change from it. Not like I was used to, so we grabbed the biggest pipe we could find and me with my two friends smoked the rest of that gram.

After two hits I. was. baked. not just the "ah there it is"... more like "holy cow this is what kind bud is" kind of high. I was a giggly, red eyed, half twit. I think I even said something along the lines of 'hash who". I felt great, I'd hadn't been this high since the first time I got really baked... we were sitting in my friends living room watching tv, I kept getting higher, it felt great. Then I started shivering a bit, I tried to calm myself with a cigarette. As the nicotine soaked into my system I got colder and colder, the room started spinning. I closed my eyes for a moment, when I opened them again the entire room looked like it was drawn in simpsons style... I continued to get higher... My friends were laughing pretty hard at something and I was having trouble remembering where I was and what I was doing... Finally I start to get a little scared, the high is still intensifying, I'm shaking uncontrollably, and all I can think is this doesn't feel right...

That's when it happened, up until this point it was like I was on a roller coaster, one that was climbing the hill to the first major drop. I felt myself approaching the top of the crest. "good this is going to be the turning point" i said(maybe out loud... it's hard to say). At the very top of the peak, I felt cold hard fingers wrap around something deep inside of me, and a voice booms into my existence "GOTCHA". Everything gets blurry, I'm barely breathing, though I could make myself breath faster I felt like all I needed was little breaths... My friends start complaining about feeling woozy, that's all I can stand. It took me three tries to get up, but I finally did. Walking in a straight line was impossible at this point and I knocked over EVERYTHING in my way as I tried to contain one thought... I needed heat, and water.

Best place for heat and water(when you're in that state) is the bathroom. With all of my will power and plenty of luck I made it to the bathroom, i turn the hot water on and stick my hand into it. My body starts convulsing immediately, not crippling, but very intense convulsions. Thinking maybe I'm so cold I'm going into shock i put the water on barely warm with mostly cold... I sip a little from the faucet and sit down on the side of the bath tub with my hands in the running luke warm water from the sink. I start trying to get a handle on what might be happening, I realize I'm still hardly breathing, so,,, I gulped air. Everything went black immediately.

When I could see again I was outside of my body watching me type on a computer. On the screen I could see everything as I see it normally, but I wasn't in control of the me behind the keyboard. I heard a "plop" I was back in the bathroom still gasping for air, black again.

this time i saw the vision of me behind the keyboard fade to a grey mush. Now at this point, I'm convinced I'm going to die, and I don't know how to get up and ask for help or do any more than sit there with my hands in the warm water making bubbling noises from somewhere in the back of my throat. But I could think, my mind was still working pretty good, I thought what if I'm being brought to my knees to tell me something? "Fuck it, if I am then this is what I need to do, if I'm over drugged then it won't get me anywhere" so the little atheist in me was placed aside for a moment and I said "god if your trying to tell me something...I'm listening" -PLOP- louder this time, and everything went dark, slowly the vision of me at the computer faded into my sight, as I'm watching the computer screen this time a message pops up... kind of like an IM, it says "from God".

I open it, in a booming voice the computer reads the message to me; YOU ARE NOT LIVING A GOOD LIFE. LISTEN MORE. -PLOP- back in the bathroom, my friend at that exact moment sticks his head into the bathroom, "the other person smoking just threw up, you're going to be ok" (I should state that he is a very spiritual person and is one of the main people I have religious debates with on a regular basis, so him saying that was very coincidental). The second his words are out of his mouth, I knew I was going to vomit. I spent the next 45 minutes vomiting harder than I have ever vomited, it felt like I was pulling bile and mostly digested food from my upper intestines...

I didn't die that day, and I will never touch that bitch spice again because it is completely evil.

As an after thought I have to say, listening more and trying to live a better life has worked out pretty good so far...

That my fellow Ents is my cautionary tale.

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