Deputy Days I, or, 'To the Town of Agua Fria'

Folks, I done gone daggum said today's m' cakeday.

First gon' on this website 10 years ago to th' day, wanted'a talk to folks on reddit 'bout something I'd seen on the Minecraft Forums, don'tcha know?

It'd be whole years later I'd known I was goin' t' Waterloo, and I didn't much care none fer it. I was at a strange time in my life, end'a highschool, didn't know what I doggone done and what I might could should do!

First gon' on this here subredd't jus' bout' 5 years ago now, and by golly... Laggy had just'a posted one of his anime openings of this'ere subreddit and I knew I was home already.

This subreddit, ya see, it's a magical place. Folks from all walks a' life come here. Folks from all pins on th' globe come here (I hope they ain't walk here). With 'em, comes a whole range a' opinions an' stances. In real life, yer' too paranoid n' reserved ta' say 'hullo', but on this'ere subreddit ya can say whatever ya want! In a world where ya can be anyone, some folks take it far away (they ran with it, don'tchaknow). I don't know if ya really understand my meaning. I don't know that even if I ditched the silly apostrophes and imposterism that'ja'd understand me. I been thinking 'bout it much over these years. I been insinuating many things, tryin' t' include new media to add an' emotional component t' my posts (y'ever watch a motion picture without music 'er sound?), n' I been using quotes and emojis, all jus' t' see if I could make myself clear.

Ya know, even in real life (I'm a real human being) folks tell me they don't understand my meaning. H'ain't got a clue what I'm getting at, say I'm beating around the bush (hope'd they'd bring hedge scissors). I jus' been trying to make a laff 'er a little wry smile round'yer faces. Ain't been my meaning nor my style trying't hurt ya, folks.

Folks, I'll be writing on up'and'a clearing my throat fer the next week, t' celebrate my first decade on reddit and th' end of my patrol as Deputy. I'll be stepping down next month after my convocation. Plan to post one of these each day throughout th' week. Tune on in next time, won'tcha?