Wake Me Up (Can't Wake Up)

So many failures. That's what kept replaying in his mind, time after time. Insurrectionists killing his squadmates, Covenant tearing his Captain to pieces. Freelancers kicking the shit out of his fellow sim troopers. And more recently, IPC tearing the city apart. However much he'd like to pretend he's past it all, however much he says that they don't bother him much anymore, a part of him still holds onto all of those memories... All of those failures. His dreams are often filled with what if scenarios. What if he had saved his ammo and could've finished off that Brute. What if he insisted on going on the Op with the Blues. What if he had protected Lemons when Concord tried to kidnap her.

He awakes with a jolt, as he often does when he's in bed alone. Something about the cold on the other side of the bed reminds him of sleeping in the dirt on Ops. He reaches for his magnum but finds his hand shaking a little too hard for that to be a good idea. Instead, he opts to sit up and sigh. So much for peaceful sleep.