Know what bugs me as a heavy set dude?

I go out, make acquaintances, get to know people. Then the inevitable conversation comes up.

"hey are you with anyone?"

Usually a deject, for the very reason I'll state in a minute. But when I do say.

"oh no, I'm single, kinda prefer it that way."

Then said new acquaintances say the usual.

"aw you'd be great with someone, they'd be lucky to have you blah blah"

Then there's that one. "I know just the person"

They show me a Pic, I entertain them out of being polite. And proceed to show me the latest incarnation of Jabba the hut.

Listen, let me be clear. I have no problem with big women. Been with a few myself. Mostly flings.

But tell me, ✨tell me whyy✨ do most people when hearing a big dude state they are indeed single, feel the need to basically ship them with their also, equally as big friends????

First of all. Who's to say in not into skinny women? Buff women? Thicc women? It's like the general census of society is that "big people must be into big people cause they're big!" like... No.... We all have different taste and preferences.

On a personal note, I already don't like looking at myself being as big as I am. In fact I hate it. So as of right now, I'm not looking for a relationship. Don't like how people just assume I even want to be with someone.

Self deprecating aside, I know the reality. Not many want to be with a big dude, especially the woman and men I'm currently into and that's fine. I've pretty much resigned myself into the idea that I'll be fine if I remain alone.

Given the fact that I'm working on myself too. Working out for that dream of actually loving my body when I feel like it's not killing me. I can't shake the feeling that even after all the work. Yes, I'd be healthy. And yes, perhaps it would open up new avenues for relationships of all kinds. But I wouldn't be satisfied.

Social acceptance is one thing. But being comfortable with that acceptance is another. How would I know if those would be people would ever accept me with who I was, compared to who I want to be.

Truly, being big is a different and wholly lonely existence for me. But hey, at least I'll live longer for being healthy.... That's a blessing right?.... Right....