I'm tired of this. Idk what mix of angry, scared, sad, disappointed, whatever I am. Just tired.

I live in the U.S. I was born here and I've been raised in the exact same place my whole life, I haven't had the chance to go anywhere outside the US, hell Ive barely even been outside the south. Also full disclosure I'm still a teenager so if that changes the meaning of any of this to you then there you go.

I hate to seem like I'm beating a dead horse but I'm tired of everything that's happening here. I'm sick of seeing videos of families torn apart every day, I'm sick of seeing the system just completely expose itself for the useless careless vapid pile of garbage it is, I'm sick of seeing us alienate and attack all of our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world, and honestly I don't like having to face the fact that I don't think they ever really liked us anyway. I might just need to get off of reddit but it feels like we had something special and now that's broken and people like me are helpless as we just have to watch so much of what we love about our home fall apart because not enough people care to do anything about it.

And honestly I understand it because, practically, nothing has actually changed for me and the people around me. I still have the same routine every day and can still access all of the nice things I could have before this all started. The only thing I've actually been given is this weird sense of exhaustion of seeing these disappointing things happen every single day and knowing it's going to keep spiraling down. It makes me mad obviously but the more of it I see the more I just feel annoyed by everything going to shit. It's become a repetitive cycle that I know isn't reaching a real breaking point anytime soon.

Again, could be just a reddit thing, but I feel like everyone just hates us now and it pisses me off because it feels awful watching us become more and more of a punching bag all the while knowing that they're absolutely right for it. I wouldn't say I've been really brainwashed, I've never had much of a sense of nationalist pride or anything, but I've always felt like we're at least some kind of special and seeing that come to an end just feels wrong. I don't think we're on top of the world but I still have a sense of home here and I just can't leave it out to dry. Seeing the anger directed here still makes me angry, but not because I think they're wrong, but just because it's painful to watch, even though Id feel too guilty to stop informing myself. I still feel guilty just for living a normal life when so many others have had things changed for the worse because of this.

Idk if I'm supposed to post this kind of thing here, I haven't really used this sub before, and ik it's long and kind of incoherent, if you read all of it thank you.