It never stops getting worse.

It’s been 3 years of it constantly getting worse. I wake up with afterimages, I see exact copies of stuff in my central vision after looking away. Any time I move my eyes I’m flooded with negative afterimages everywhere else. Everything is grainy. My vision is flashed with every light change. My doctor says I’m glaucoma suspect. I feel like my brain works about half as well as it used to. I feel dull and mentally slow. I’m always tired, I’m usually anxious. I’m so depressed.

It’s such a burden. It’s like I’ve been holding a weight for 3 years that only gets heavier and I can never put it down. I want to put it down so bad

I often say I want to go home and look around only to realize I’m already there. It took me a while to figure out what my mind is telling me. It’s telling me I don’t feel comfortable or safe in my own body. I want my old existence. I want the comfort of non progressive symptoms. I want to be able to think clearly again. I want to go to sleep and wake up without fear. I want to go home.