Second time brides. What are you doing differently this time?

This is my second marriage and my guys first. Last time my mom took over planning because I didn't really have the time or interest in it. It was very pretty but not at all me.

This time I would love to do a very simple, private ceremony and dinner with just immediate family. Partially because I feel weird inviting the same family and friends the second time around and partially because big formalish events aren't my thing.

HOWEVER my guy wants to do the whole big thing. We both have big close families and a large group of very close friends. I'd never want him to feel like he missed out on this experience. He is the last of his friends/family to get married and has some ideas of what he wants.

My idea is to do the private ceremony & dinner and then on our anniversary have a big BBQ and invite everyone. We could save money by it not being a wedding (we are also remodeling a house and will be paying for all wedding expenses) and it wouldn't feel so formal but more of a celebration.

TLDR I've done the big fancy thing. My guy has not but wants to.

How are other second time brides handling the whole planning? Any advice?