Family pressure to push up wedding date is getting into my head. Do I stick with January 30 to keep our vendors for a Saturday night or shoot for the late summer/fall?
Long post ahead:
So we had to postpone our wedding that was scheduled for March 28, and we've been trying to work with our venue and vendors to reschedule a new date. They are all willing to transfer the amount we've paid, as long as it's for a date in the next year. The key vendors we wanted to keep were our photographers (who we've had a good working relationship with this whole time), our band, and our day-of coordinator. Fridays and Sundays really aren't an option because almost everyone is coming from out of town and would have to take extra vacation time.
Original plan was to do August 1 or October 31 based on the venue's remaining availability for 2020. Unfortunately, August 1 isn't a date that our photographer has open and she can't get a second shooter for Halloween (the one who would be our second shooter is a young widow and wants to be home with her kids for that night, which I totally get. Plus, we also were reluctant to do that date based on the fact that all of our cousins have kids in the trick or treating age range). So we're looking at January 30, 2021.
We tell my dad this and he seems not too enthused with the idea. He calls back later and starts pushing on me to reconsider, because the flu season is going to be terrible around that time and we will probably have to reschedule, people aren't going to be able to come because of the ice and snow, and if it's just the photographer holding us up, then we should just drop her and find another one. Photographers are "a dime a dozen" and she HAS to give us all of our money back BY LAW because this is an unprecedented scenario. We should prioritize the venue and the band before anything else.
There are several things going on here:
- No, they don't have to give us all of the money back - Photographers are a dime a dozen. Good photographers (especially ones who can shoot an evening indoor wedding without overdoing the flash) aren't, and you get what you pay for. Ours is paid in full, we like her, and she's willing to honor the current arrangement (which included our free engagement photo session). - Also, we're the ones paying for the whole wedding except for my dress and the band (which my dad insisted on paying for) - Best friend/co-matron of honor/person who introduced my fiance and me is a retail manager and October-February is the busy season. Best friend "should be able to" do January 30 but October 31 was going to be harder to accommodate. - I would prefer not to have to do January/February, because of the possibility of weather ruining travel plans and because every woman is still going to freeze her ass off even with everything being indoors. Fiance is from NY and doesn't care (but he gets to wear a suit). - That said, we also don't want to schedule too soon and have to reschedule again, and August is still an unknown quantity even for the weddings that are scheduled then.
But I was worried about the ice and snow with most of our guests coming to the Midwest from the Buffalo area (ton of snow), Florida, and the Carolinas), and now I feel like I'm in a bind. Is it really worth compromising to shoot for August or October 30 (which is a Friday) instead? Do we try to get the money back from a vendor that's paid in full and find someone else?