Shaming myself as being a sub par MOH

It happened a few years ago. Last wedding I have attended and I am thankful for that. A friend and her partner decided to tie the knot after over a decade together and also parents of a cute kid. Not the girliest of girls, as am I, so wedding planning was all bewildering and stressful. Was not going to be a big wedding, so the planning was for a few people, wedding and reception at a nice country hotel. Now, my pal is obsessed with having control over everything and having her way, which has been quite frustrating in the past, day trips, holidays etc. Used to drive me mad before, but I started just letting her do what she wanted as her way was the best way. Her husband does that for an easy life and I just stop getting angry... Anyways, I was asked to be MOH. I said yes, not knowing what to do. Was an honour I guess, as no one has asked me of such a thing before. She was doing most of the bookings and she did make her own wedding dress, which was lovely BTW. A few months before, I was assigned to do a hen activity, as per her wishes. No partying, no strippers, no massive getaway etc. The idea was to do something active like paddle boarding. Wedding was September, was told in July. Now, taking a project on like this, I am expected to be given a budget, a contact list and a few locations to scout for availability etc. I was only given a name of who she would like to book and a website. No budget, no contact list. A group email was sent by her to ask if people were up for it and most of the replies were non committal to say the least. There was no date, and no location, as I was expected to perform miracles. For context, I split up with long term partner of 9 years, moved out of our house and had to accommodate mum for 3 weeks in August while was trying to put life back together. In a one bed apartment. So, still no contact list, no budget, just a website, no real follow up from someone who wants to control everything, except an email from bride telling me that she has vertigo and not feeling well. So, how do you paddle board with vertigo? You don't right? I was grieving my relationship and trying to put up with mum in my flat telling me to get back with ex. Fun times. Time goes by, hen thing obviously not happening, instead in August, 3 of us arrange to go to cinema and dinner as per bride's request. Wedding comes, I sign as a witness, ceremony and reception all good. Drinks are flowing, people are dancing and I was kindly booked a room at hotel, not far from my town, to stay over, at my expense of course, so I could not say no, I had to pay it. Not cheap. So, banter with the groom revealed quite a lot. In his words he said " we knew you would fail, so we arranged something else instead". I laughed, I nodded and retired to hotel room immediately after. Also speech said I was a bridesmaid now as well... don't care anyways, I just wanted it to be over. My ex partner was there too, so quite awkward. Next day was wedding breakfast. I skipped it with the excuse that I had an upset tummy and disappeared very early in the morning. I mean, please hire me as you expect me to screw up, by giving me peanuts to work with and then laugh about it as I am humiliated, and expect me to join you for breakfast too. Have not seen these people since, have not been to another wedding either, and due to my age group, I'm glad I don't have to. Also none of the pictures published had me in them. Phew.