I tried to support someone else and it went badly

A local acquaintances husband died suddenly. She was worried that people would not come to the funeral, and asked for people to please come support her. We were out of state when my husband died, and many wonderful strangers stepped up to support me. So, I felt that I needed to give back by going to support her.

It was a lovely service, and I'm glad I was there for her. But then I came back home and was nonfunctional for the rest of the day. Utterly wrecked. In tears. And, I think, in full fight-or-flight mode. Seeing her sobbing just brought way too much back. It was so bad. I'm trying to function today. I'm better today, but it's still had.

I reached out to friends yesterday to try to tell them that I was in a bad state. That's what you do, right? You are supposed to let your friends know. I'm the only widow in my friend group, and ... they don't get it. I got responses like "Yeah, same, my anxiety is flaring and I'm so tired so I sat around doing nothing too." And "I can see how that might have been sad for you."

No. Y'all get it, right? I was not tired. It was not anxiety. It was not sad. It was a gut-wrenching visit back to the worst day of my life. It's frustrating to have no one understand. I know my friends are doing their best and truly don't get it, but FFS.