Struggling - Offgrid

I’m struggling. Me and my husband lived off grid in the sub arctic. He died 2.5 weeks ago and I’m not just struggling emotionally, I’m struggling to keep the house warm, get water and keep the power on.

I’m so worried, that I’m working so hard to just survive. I won’t be able to recover emotionally ever.

I got told I need a new generator

My birthday is next Friday and I’m widows impulse. I booked a trip to UK so I don’t need to be in a house only he knew how to run. It is really expensive and could be stupid financially (3k for dog boarding alone). I think I need to just grieve and I can’t do that here. )