I hate traveling alone

I very much want to take a trip that may last a week. I don't think I can do it. I remember solo motorcycle trips in the ancient past. I don't handle an 8 hour drive very well. I have to pull over until I stop crying 2 or three times.

Doing anything without her is so wrong.. I can't even take a shower without being alone.

I'm trying to wake up from this nightmare. I am starting to realize the stasis is stretching out into years. I'm aging at twice the normal speed just from the grief.

A step forward, six months later a step back. Over and over.