I feel this needs to be said...

No matter what you're feeling. No matter how alien these thoughts are. No matter how different it is from how you expected. No matter what anyone who hasn't lost a partner tells you.

If you hear only one thing today, let it be this:

You are NOT wrong. Your feelings are NOT wrong.

Please, please, please stop beating yourself up. This is hard enough. There is no need to make it harder for yourself.

There is no manual for what we're going through. No checklist. The stages of grief are not sequential. They may not even be discreet. Just let it take its course.