How long can the numb phase last?

I suppose this might sound like an odd question. I know that everyone has a different situation, and everyone grieves in their own way. My husband (m65) of 38 years died on June 20, 2026 from Parkinson's.

I (f70) was his care person, mostly by myself except for help through the Pace program. They were all wonderful. He was able to stay home without being in a hospital or nursing home, and transitioned from therapy to hospice. He'd had a huge decline from Dec. 2 when he was hospitalized with a UTI and never recovered except for a bit around Feb.

I think I'm still in shock. It's now 19 days, which either seems like yesterday and like years ago, all at the same time. I sobbed when the coroner took him, and at the funeral, but I've felt very odd. I'm not crying, not horribly sad; it still feels unreal that it happened. I think I feel a bit of guilt that I'm not horribly sad right now, and that I feel a great deal of relief for him, and if I must admit, for myself. He was so debilitated the last weeks that i know he wouldn't have wanted to go on in that state, and so I'm relieved that he's free. It's my overwhelming thoughts now. He wasn't able to do things he loved for 3 or 4 years, like playing golf. He could no longer drive, or even walk through our house with confidence.

I feel like one day a wave of grief will hit me like a brick, but maybe I shouldn't worry about it. If it happens, I deal with it. Go with the flow. Anyone's advice, please? I so appreciate this community.