Spiralling today.

Nice weather, few bits round the garden to do. I just can't deal with her not being here today. I keep telling myself not to go and get a drink but I'm fucking struggling. I just don't care about anything any more. £800 utility bill, fuck em what they gonna do? Water rates, do you think you can do anything to me that can hurt more than this? I know I need to keep my shit together for my kids. But they are both older and can look after themselves. My shoulder is fucked, who cares. Knee gave out on me the other day, so what.

Just one kiss and "love you, hublet" and I'd take this shit for a while more.

Fuck cancer you absolute cunt.

Sorry for the language, I just needed to write this down.

Thank you all.❤️