Sharing the advice my therapist gave me about the holidays

This will be my first Christmas without my husband. Before we met I always went home for the holidays, so I never had my own tree, didn’t own a single ornament. We had thirteen years of collecting and gifting each other ornaments, nearly every one now associated with a moment we shared or an inside joke. I told my therapist I was worried about decorating the tree this weekend, each ornament is going to feel like an emotional hand grenade. Her advice was, “Suffer less.” If you see something painful coming, shake things up, do things differently. Spend Christmas somewhere different. Buy all new ornaments. Keep the old ones, and in a couple years when you’re ready go through them and decide what to save. But this soon after his death, don’t make yourself suffer unnecessarily. It’s not penance to make yourself sad, it doesn’t make you a better spouse. Be compassionate with yourself and suffer less when you can.

I found it to be really helpful, so I wanted to share.