Vote for me: I'm wildly unqualified!

Good morning ladies, gentlemen, those somewhere in between, and those who change.

I, Lilac, am joining the pursuit of a council position. But don't vote for me; I'm wildly unqualified. Just like so many of the other candidates.

I know what you're thinking. *'But Lilac, Bombast already used this approach! Not wanting to win isn't original!'*

That's right, he did! But he was actually qualified for the job, whereas I'm simply here to make a mockery out of the entire system. And I'm not even able to find an original approach to do so, because I'm *that* unqualified! Bombast is a highly qualified mage capable of assisting with any problem that comes up! I'm someone who mostly uses magic to make my clothes look colorful. My solution to problems is often punching them, and I can do so really, *really* hard! If there was a standardized magical test, I'm not sure if I'd be able to pass it! Good thing there's no qualifications required for this position!

I'm not a qualified mage, I've never been a parent, and I have zero leadership experience. Vote for me: I'm wildly unqualified for this job.

A vote for me is a vote for promises that I don't know how to keep. Promises such as:

1) I'll attempt to enact term limits on elected positions. It's clear that lifetime appointments is a flaw in the system, so I'm going to try and get rid of them. 2) I'll loosen restrictions on loitering and sleeping in public spaces. I'm literally homeless and the council has the best parks, lets put them to use! 3) I won't plague any countries or start any wars! At least intentionally. 4) If a disaster does happen, I likely won't be able to help stop it. Instead I'll focus on helping the general public survive. I'm one of you, and I know you're worth it. 5) No promise of free tacos! Seriously, where would I even get enough tacos to feed you all? 6) Equality for all sentient beings. Despite being definitely human, I support equality for all. And unlike some, I'm not going to stop at just a single species. 7) Clothing optional late night dance parties in the woods! They're already happening, and you're all still invited. Every Tuesday in the woods just after moonrise. And special events every full moon. 8) I'm not a member of, and don't plan on joining any cults! More than that, half the members of the recently started cult have told me that they're only worshipping their so called god because she has nice breasts. I'm a shapeshifter. I could be *whatever you desire*. But I'm not going to be, because I have fucking standards. 9) More love music events. I like music. The council has an amphitheater. Lets use it more often. 10) I'm going to tackle corruption! Literally, I'm going to tackle anyone who seems corrupt. 11) Nature spirits like me. This isn't a campaign promise. I've already run out of both real and imaginary promises.

I don't know how I'm going to accomplish any of these. Aside from the naked dance parties; they're already happening. You should join us.

So you should vote for me. The alternative is cultists and people seeking the position for their own benefits. I actually care about you, even if I'm too unqualified to do anything helpful. Every vote for me is a vote denied to those individuals.

#Vote for me: I'm wildly unqualified for this job.

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^/uw ^Author's ^note: ^Lilac ^currently ^has ^bright ^purple ^hair. ^It's ^important ^that ^this ^is ^noted, ^but ^it ^didn't ^make ^any ^sense ^to ^add ^in ^anything ^emotive ^to ^this ^campaign ^post.

^Vote ^for ^me, ^I ^don't ^even ^have ^an ^image ^generator ^to ^help ^this ^post ^gain ^traction!