What's fair when it comes to personal time?

I'm really struggling with what is fair when it comes to personal time. Recently I told my husband I had a hair appointment, it would take a few hours, so I need him to watch the kids (4 and 1). He said yes, but that the next weekend he wanted to take an afternoon to himself to go kayaking. I said like, ok sure but to be clear I'm not trading you a hair cut for kayaking, these are just separate things. But he disagrees, he feels that I'm asking for personal time, how I use it is up to me, and so he wants an equal amount of personal time in exchange. It's on me that I'm choosing to spend my free time on beauty and personal maintenance. I think this is not totally fair. I don't ENJOY getting my hair cut, but it's just something I need to do. My husband cuts his own hair.

For context, I'm a Black woman, a lot of my personal time is spent on beauty maintenance. I am not gifted with natural beauty, I'm ok with that, I know how to look good, but it takes upkeep. I don't wear a crazy amount of make up or have long rituals for it. But I do need to thread my eyebrows, pluck my chin and mustache tips weekly. I wear moisturizer, foundation and mascara. I have natural afro hair, but once we had kids I kept it as a men's fade look to reduce time spent on it, which I hated the entire time. I've recently grown it out but still very short, so I spend maybe 10min max on it in the mornings, just fluffing it out after sleep. Every 4 days I have to wash and properly restyle it, which adds 30min to my morning bathroom time. Unfortunately it's impossible to do this stuff at night when the kids are asleep because our pipes resonate through the house when the hot water is running, which wakes them up. In years past I spent a sizeable amount of money on laser hair removal treatments to cut down on shower time. I feel like I've done my best to be as efficient as possible. I don't find these rituals relaxing, it's not "me time" etc. It's just something I have to do. I suppose I technically don't have to, but I don't think he would want to be with the truly au natural me. I think that me needing to spend extra time on a beauty maintenance routine is just the price of admission for being with a woman, especially a Black one. He feels we get equal time and if I choose to spend it on that then that's on me.

What's the compromise here? I get that it's not fair that I'm asking him to watch the kids more, or deal with them more in the morning so I can redo my hair. But it's not like I'm off having fun, I just have different needs. I don't know if there's a real solution here, I'm mostly just venting, but it pissed me off that in exchange for me being "allowed' to get a haircut he gets to go kayaking you know? Like that's very unfair to me. How do ya'll handle it?

Edit to add one thing I forgot: In the past (pre kids) my husband has explicitly said he prefers a polished look, as in hair styled, manicures, fit and well dressed etc. I had no problem with this and it's also my preferred way to look. But realistically I don't have time for it with kids. He's ok with the fact that I have less time to dedicate to my looks, like he doesn't complain that I don't have a mani pedi. But it's very much his preference.