Am I seriously going to let my guilt stop me from having another baby?

I have a lot of feels so here goes…

My husband and I have an 18 month old. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

My husband is the primary parent but I am not absent by any definition. I run a company and I’m the breadwinner, but I wake up every day and get our son ready, fed, and drive him to daycare. I’m home for bath time and I only work weekends when it’s absolutely necessary.

I love working. It’s part of me and I’m not giving that up. It’s also the reason we’re able to have financial security and make sure our son is comfortable and has a good life.

We did IVF and I had severe pregnancy complications. Thank god we’re both fine, but multiple doctors have told me not to get pregnant again.

We have five healthy and tested embryos from IVF. After almost a year of struggling with the ethical sides of surrogacy, I truly think I found the best option. I feel good about this path on every level.

When I brought this up to my husband, he got a little misty. He said he would be happy with our complete family, but he’d love another kid. He loves being a dad.

Motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me but it’s not the only part of my life. I want another kid so badly. I want my son to have a sibling and I love the idea of really being able to give another kid a happy childhood. I also love having so much love to give, and watching my husband be in his element with a kid.

But I feel SO FUCKING GUILTY. It’s like I’m just putting this extra burden on my husband. His job is more flexible than mine so he will have to take on more responsibility. We are 50:50 when we’re both home, but he definitely runs our household. Sometimes I feel it’s too much. He cooks, cleans daily, takes care of our dogs, and does most emotional labor.

*I will say we have a woman who deep cleans every week and we outsource our laundry. He’s not without help.*

I don’t know. I’m really struggling with this choice. I also keep wondering if men ever struggle with this. lol.