Grieving the first year

My son is about to turn one in a few weeks and I've been taking it really hard. He's been in daycare since he was 11 weeks old and I feel like I've missed out on sooo much time with him.

We're also in the middle of buying and selling a house. It has been the most stressful thing I have ever done to date. It has been taking up so much of my time on my breaks, evenings and weekends. Not to mention it has been our busy season at work and we're shorthanded; staying late for about a month.

I've been trying to stay present in my (short) moments at home, but I feel like he's changing right before my eyes. He looks entirely different than he did a month ago.

I'm really just sad and miss having a little baby. Wish I could afford part-time, but def not with this new house. I don't want him growing up to be sad for me all the time. How can I reframe this? 😔