Daycare guilt

Hey fellow mummas.

I have a little boy, currently 3 months old, who will be starting daycare at the end of the month at 4 months old.

I love him to death and I love my time with him so, so much but I am losing my mind being at home alone all day. I need to go to work, I need to use my brain and have adult interactions and conversations so I am putting him into care one day a week until the end of the year before I go back to work in January. I have a very fast paced, hectic job with a lot of interactions with many different people every day and due to pregnancy and COVID I have been sidelined for over a year and I've found it really difficult.

We had an orientation at daycare last week and they requested that it was at nap/feed time so he was an absolute mess, didn't sleep and was then hysterical by the end of the hour. I cried my eyes out for hours over it because I felt SO guilty. I have no many concerns about him being miserable and unhappy and just picture him crying his poor little eyes out all day because he misses me. The daycare we've chosen is brand new and beautiful, the staff are all SO lovely and all the other small babies we saw there were happy and content.

The guilt is fucking eating me alive. Please help me feel a bit better about this!! I'm currently considering cancelling daycare and staying at home so I can breastfeed and cuddle him until he is 35.