Generic post: A writer of mediocre talent looks to Reddit for perspectives & insights on their reluctance to dive back into writing.

This post may seem redundant and out of touch- which I obviously understand. That being said, I’d still appreciate advice and feedback, if you have it.

Whether it’s doing math in your head, throwing perfect pitches, or playing the spoons, I think everyone on this planet has a “talent,” or something they’re just naturally good at. Writing has always been that thing for me.

I’ve always been told I’m a great writer. In grade school, I wrote a lot of poetry and fiction. My teachers and peers (even the ones that didn’t like me) said they’d be reading my books someday. Even in college and beyond, I was always complimented on my writing capabilities. I was writing exclusively fan fiction at that point- but I guess you could say it kept my skills somewhat sharp.

Well…”someday” never happened for me. My life has been trash for the last decade by things both in and out of my control. Through all that, I guess I lost my sense of hope and imagination. I write in my diary every day without fail- but aside from that, I just don’t write fiction anymore. I recently wrote some articles for the Fortune 500 company I work for in the hopes of getting promoted to the Communications department, but that hasn’t happened yet. Writing is like a curse: it’s an honorable talent, and it stays with you forever…but it doesn’t get the respect it deserves and it doesn’t necessarily translate to financial security (which is something I need right now).

I’m given “pats on the back” for my writing abilities at work every now and again. Well, let’s just say the most unlikely person from my office went out of their way to send me a text after work, saying I should “write a novel” and that they would read anything I published. I guess life has a way of coming full circle.

This got me thinking. I’m just so angry, hurt, and afraid, trying to cope with my shitty life choices that led me to living this passionless, shitty life. It doesn’t help that my mentors have recently died. (Yes, I’m medicated and seeing a therapist.) But where the hell do y’all get inspiration? Do y’all just write about random subjects until you find that spark of inspiration? Do you just write something and stick with it, even when you change your mind? Do you have a career in writing or get gig-work as a writer? How the hell do y’all write when life is constantly interrupting you? I’m just scared of taking another L…because I can’t take anymore L’s right now. I think I’d lose my mind in its entirety.

TL;DR I’m a pretty decent writer but I’m perpetually uninspired because I failed at life and am blinded by anger, pain, and guilt from the past. I don’t know if it’s worth trying to write a published piece when I have nothing to write about. Pretty generic, but please advise.

Thank you all and have a great day.