I wrote: an awkward escort writes his memories
My name is Dorian Samson. I'm 28 and a luxury escort. I've been in this 'business' for five years and I'm not quite sure of how I made it to the 'luxury' level. This is the tale of how I lost my virginity and sense of shame in the matter of an hour.
I guess this all truly started when I had turned 23. I was a thin, awkward young man with self esteem too low and a nerd level of over 9,000. My life revolved around my university courses, the internet, video games and table top games. I was a typical 4chanian and redditer at the time. I thought I was edgy posting on /b/ and r/spacedicks, trolling the 'newfags' that seemed to flood the board endlessly or generally trying to scar my peers emotionally for life. My birthday was no different. I spent the early morning portion of it playing Mass Effect 2 and sipping on nectar of life known commonly as Mountain Dew. This was my morning ritual. Playing a game, sipping on soda while waiting for the time that I would have to emerge from my 'virgin dungeon' to make way to my classes.
Much to my dismay, the time rolled around for me to head out and be social. That thing that reddit talked about so much, the dreaded 'outside'. Class had been the usual, me sitting in the back silently despite me knowing the answers asked by the teacher. It was lunch that had made that day a bit more... interesting. After grabbing my daily rations of Taco Bell, the cashier regretted to inform me that my debit card had been declined. I panicked and pulled out my cell phone to check my balance. The red "-$206.38" made my heart drop. My money was gone. More importantly, I had over drafted. Quickly walking out of the resteraunt, I tried my best to recall all of my transactions of the past month but still couldn't come up with some sort of answers as to how I had been drained financially.
I skipped my last class of the day in favor of finding some sort of means of income on craigslist. That website always seemed sketchy to me. I have yet to hear of an interaction on there that didn't go horrifically bad. Regardless, I was in need of money and a job. Browsing the 'all jobs' page, I found a vague post that also promised significant pay.
"Not a fat ass? In need of money TODAY?" Eh, sure. I do need money after all. "Send us an email with a picture of yourself, a phone number to reach you as well as your measurements and weight." I quickly rushed to my gmail and typed away. The measurements part kinda threw me for a loop. Not even five minutes after I had sent my email, I received a text telling me to head to the local park and to look for a guy wearing a Punisher beanie and a red jacket. Little did I know that this guy, Pete was his name, would change my life and do something no other person had been able to do; get me laid.
The meet up was rather tame. He was blunt with my new jobs description. I was an escort and I'd be serving a niche group. Mostly nerdy girls with video game fetishes. He asked if I had any experience in role playing and cosplaying. I said yes, but my definition of those words were completely different than his. I had gone to conventions and played my fair share of D&D. Hell, I had even made a Male Shep armor set from foam and paint for Comic Con San Diego that year. God, I was so dumb and naive back then. He told me that he had a job for me tonight and gave me the girls number. I was to text her, find out what she wanted, text Pete, tell him what she requested and he'd give a price for it. Simple enough. After walking back to my flat, I started to text the girl.
"Hey, is this Cally?" I felt so excited. 23 years and I was finally going to lose my virginity. My hands were shaking with excitement.
"Ya, u dorian?" The txt speak was annoying, but something I could get past.
"Yeah. What are you looking for tonight?" My fingers danced over the keyboard of my Motorola Razr V3.
"Ever herd of Mass Efect?" Oh no. Oh no, this could be bad. Those words repeated in my head. I knew how weird my beloved ME's fandom could be. On top of that, what Pete meant by 'cosplay and role play' finally dawned on me. That realization was rather frightening.
"Of course."
"lets juz say imma asari bad girl dat wantz 2 get dwn n drty with Sheperd." I shivered. The grammar of this girl was appalling and all sense of excitement I had was quickly replaced with disgust. I texted Pete to let him know the situation and shivered.
"The asking price is 400."
"Souns gud."
This was followed by a message with her address and a time to get there. Now, I may be a male escort, but I'm not going to be describing everything in dirty detail. I do have a bit of class. I arrived at 8 PM like she said, suited up in my Male Shep costume, my mind slowly going over the facts of how much four hundred bucks could help me out. Taking a deep breathe, I knocked on the door and hoped that the girl looked better than she texted. I was oh so wrong. A slim girl, maybe about 5 ft 2 was standing in the door way. Greasy blue body paint was smeared over every inch of visible skin. Her tendril prosthetic was definitely home made; by home made I mean abysmal. Bits of her hair was peaking through cracks of the dried out rubber and the edges were crinkled up on the crown of her forehead. I was going to have to touch that. That blue grease paint would get all over the custom made foam armor that I had labored over for months to perfect. Not to mention all the clumps and clotting the paint would go through with the sweat and excretions of the deed.
The 'asari' pulled me into her house, slammed the door behind her and huskily gasped "I've been waiting Shepherd." It took every bit of strength I had to keep from shuttering and running out. Before I could even utter a response, I heard the sound of foam ripping as well as fabric. A quick glance down showed that she had ripped the pelvis region of my armor off. I immediately whimpered in sorrow. That one piece took me six hours and 3 blow torch burns to create. An hour and a half passed, and the casualty count of my suit was heart breaking. The chest plate was dented and torn in places. Paint was rubbed off and stained blue in some areas. Blue clumps of grease paint and bodily juices were stuck in my hair, in crevices of my suit and joints. It was appalling. Luckily I made off with an extra three hundred bucks for the 'excellent costume' and for actually going through with it.
And that, my friends is just the start of my long career in this escort business.