The Fish Leaps

>Someone asked, "What is my essence?"

>Joshu said, "The tree sways; the bird flies about; the fish leaps; the water is muddy."

Where am I in the swaying tree? Where am I in the leaping fish?

>Someone asked Master Yunmen, "How about: 'The Triple World is but mind, and the myriad things are but consciousness'?"

>The Master said, "Today I don't answer any questions."

>The questioner insisted. "Why don't you answer any questions?"

>The Master said, "Will you understand it in the year of the donkey?"

Such questions do not garner answers. Don't overthink it. Where am I?

>Great Master Bodhidharma's Teaching on Peace of Mind says...People of the world study various branches of learning - why don't they attain enlightenment? Because they see themselves - that's why they don't attain enlightenment. The self means the ego; perfected people are not troubled when they experience misery, and are not delighted when they experience pleasure, because they don't see self.

What am I looking for if not myself?

>Master Jiashan said to an assembly,Not cognizant of the dawn in the sky, enlightenment doesn't come from a teacher. The fish leaping at the Dragon Gate do not fall into the hands of fishermen...Exhausted fish stay in the shallows, weakened birds roost in the reeds. Clouds and water are not you, you are not clouds and water. I have gotten freedom amidst the clouds and water; what about you?

Clouds and water are not me. I am not clouds and water.

But where am I?